=)

Lord i've never felt closer to you and i love it. being washed clean and living day to day with that feeling is great. spiritual high isn't even close to how blessed i've been feeling.
i thought these days would be hard, and i admit they have some downs, but staying strong is easier knowing i'm in your hands.
thanks for everyone who's been by my side supporting me.... it's good to be encouraged.
i love you.

it rained.... so we brought it in the kitchenn....

hahahah tonight was fabulous.

my whole family got together and helped me gut 12 pumpkins for this pumpkin allumination i'm aprticipating in for school....

it was so great to laugh and be together with everyone.

it was surprise when i came home that pumpkins were chillen out on my kitchen floor and everyone was like " ya ready!?

hahaha it's times like those that i wish never had to end... sweet sweet memories of the beautiful october nights.

oh and one more thing...

my best friend and i...
had a difficult summer together. God brought us together tonight. she shared this wonderful experience with me and i could have not been more thankful for that. She is someone who showed me the Lord and always encouraged me... tonight was so special.
she never cries, ever! even when she wants to, she just can't.
tonight she was in tears. bailey mallon is forever my sister and i'm so blessed to have her as that.
she also gave me her neclace she got when she made her first communion. it is beautiful, and i will treasure it OHH SO MUCH!
i love you b, thanks for everything.

AMEN AMEN AMEN!

this evening i was gathered by some pretty great people who i love and treasure oh so deeply as i was baptised.
if anything in life could be perfect, it was.
my feeling, the feeling about being apart of the Lord and how i knew i was ready... it was just great.
right afterwards everyone told me how great it was to have me be apart of the family... and oh man, i lost it.
i was so happy. i talked to those people who mean a lot to me and to hear them share their experiences and understand how wonderful i was feeling was SO PERFECT!
thank you Lord for giving me those people, giving me tonight and giving me this opportunity to feel fresh, free and loved.
this feeling is a feeling i've been waiting for, and i'm glad i waited till i knew i was 100% ready, now i can enjoy it, embrace the new road that it will take me on. i love you and your son for sacrificing himself.
when everyone around me screamed AMEN i knew at that moment, i was right at home.

i know...

how lucky i am to have so many great people in my life....
they're so freakin great i can't stand it sometimes.
THANK YOU LORD FOR THEM!

Please life me up Lord...

i'm falling hard today.... this weekend was so emotional... and today so much has come to thought.
i just want to cry. i'm so confused about those i love, who don't follow you Lord. I can't help but worry.
i think sometimes i just have too big of a heart.
and that thought brings pain to my heart and tears to my eyes....
oh, lift me up dear Lord.

someday

in my lifetime i want to run through a field of flowers, with laughter and joy all around. i want my heart to be full as can be and i just want to run free... oh man, that would be great.

=)

" thank the Lord, i'm so glad you're here..."

this weekend... i cannot even begin to tell you how thankful i am for it.

even if i'm trying... but am not successfully giving 100% to the Lord he still treats me as if i am.

i was blessed with this weekend to be surrounded with these amazing people. The ones that lift me up, no matter what, and are just so wonderful as they all share the love for the Lord.

It was a retreat in Conn. and at first ya know, i just thought it was going to be okay.... but as soon as i got there and was surrounded by people i loved and haven't seen in awhile i was overwhelmed with happiness.

I had some great conversations too. I know the world isn't beautiful all the time, but when you're with people who you know are trying their hardest to make it beautiful, and you're all together... it's a great feeling. I know i can't be surrounded by them all the time, so i'm so so thankful for this weekend, and i'm glad i took it to heart... because i left crying. it was so beautiful, the whole day, and i just couldn't believe that i could be apart of it. i didn't deserve it, but i know i needed it.

it was truly one of the best days i've ever had.

& that was just saturday. friday night was fun and sunday so far has been wonderful. this morning a bunch of my family went to my little cousins flag football game and cheered him on. it warmed my heart, as always when all my family is laughing and enjoying our time together.

church... oh boy. the sermon was too great! i could feel God speaking through it. Talking right to me. It was wonderful. I definitely learned a lot this weekend and can't keep the smile off my face... the happy tears are flowing and the glowing face is staying. I'm ready for this week... i know i won't be surrounded by full hearted christians, but i'm gonna try my hardest not to give in to anything. Thank you Lord for everything. You are so wonderful.

oh and one more thing...

Cara Webb that darling girl surprised me with being at the retreat. That on top of everything was an overwhelming feeling. I look up to her so much. Being with her, spending time with her, laughing with her, and learning more about her.... OH MY WORD, AMAZING.

we had some really cute moments through out the day and i just hope she knows how much it meant to me. your cute, i love you and i thank God for you everyday. =)

my health teacher...

is so amazing.
i'm lucky to have her in my life...
♥

" i still have two more years before i have to say anything..."

Lately..
things have been going pretty well. Two night ago i had a really good night. I've been trying to figure out what i really want to do with life and i had a little help from someone i love so dearly. she even shared some stuff about her life, and things that could help me with all the thinking i've been doing. she's always great to talk to.
also, i've realized that i really love helping people. i don't care what it is, i just love it. the feeling afterwards, well there is nothing life it. God blessed me with being able to communicate with people fabulously and i'm going to do just that..
last night... was a tough night. i got through it though. man, does a positive attitude really help me out sometimes. even though things were really crappy. i dealt with it, and things got better.
TONIGHT! i went to the Carrie Underwood concert with my favorite person in the world. IT was her birthday present and i'm so glad we could share it together.

there is so much unseen beauty in life...
and when you notice it, man does it really get to you.

happiness.

lately i've been blessed to spend most of my time with people who really care about me. they make me the happiest i've ever been, and being with them i feel so blessed. talking with them, i've learned that they want me around more, and i want to be around more... so we're gonna make it that way.... i'm excited.


kari,ben,sean,val,roy,and lee
you are my family and i love you.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

" i love you to the moon and back, all the way around the earth, through the milky way, around the ring of saturn to every star in the universe and beyond all the way back to little rhode island and into your heart. "-- jasmine doak!

i only say that cause i care....

Thank you God for answering the littlest prayers...
today was the best day i've had in awhile. i mean i've had a lot of amazing days, but today meant a great deal.
i had a really great conversation with mrs.bush. she's a great person and i'm very happy to have her in my life. we haven't known each other for too long, but today we really connected. i've loved her from the start, there was just something about her that made me smile... and today actaully having a real conversation with her i know that what i felt from the start has just grown into so much more. i know that our relationship will grow... and i'm proud to say that my prayers were answered today.
i'm a happy little camper =)


YEEP and i get to go to bible class tonight!
wicked excited.

it goes by so fast, doesn't it?

today was a great day!
i got my midterm grades and i am doing so well!
YEEP! i'm excited. and so is my mom so it's wonderful!
also, today i went and visited a wise friend, mrs.dushi. she's fabulous. she and i talk about everything. lately, i've been wondering things, and i've needed someone else's view on it... and there she was. she helps me so much. she gives it to me, she's not afraid to tell me the truth and i love her for that. she's a wonderful person and i LOVE having her in my life.
thanks for today. i missed talking to you.

anyways, after that i went to the girl's soccer game with my best friend. she's great, i must admit. we think SO much alike it's crazy. i never had anyone who understoof my mind as much as her. we've been best friends for awhile, but lately it's been really great. she moved back to RI over the summer and we didn't get to hangout that much. the start of the new year was a beginning to a brand new start with her and it's been great! i love her so much and i hope she knows how much i appreciate her.
today she told me " you're an all around people person. people are just attracted to your personality. kids, our age people, older people, everyone. i love how you can make friends with anyone. you're open with everything..." something like that and it made me smile. she's good for letting me know what's wrong with me... haahha but she lifts me up with encouragment too. i love her so dearly... and since i strive to do that everyday of my life, be a people person and be happy with everyone, i'm glad to have some reassurance every once and awhile.

after the soccer game, shannon's(best friend)grandma gave me a ride home. her friend was in the car and they talked about us almost as if we weren't there. they talked about how fast things move. first it's a new year, then christmas then it's oveer. things never stop. you can't hold your breathe. you need to get out there and do what needs to be done. if you don't you're going to end up falling.
every time i'm with that lady she teaches me a lesson. it runs in the family i guess, because her grand daughter is kind of amazing.

i love these beautiful days.
thank you God for blessing me with them. having good love spread about the world is always great! today was pretty fabulous and i can see that you shine to me in more ways each and every day, it opens my mind so much.
=)

health class....

so... i didn't have the best weekend, but having health class first period definitley started my day off well.
mrs.bush, my health teacher is pretty amazing. she has an upbeat personality and it makes me smile. she's my favorite teacher this year. i love her. she promised me she would be reading this later today,so i want her to know that... you're amazing and i'm so glad you were my my health teacher this year. i hope you have a good night and i'm looking forward to seeing your smile tomorrow. =)




* after school i might be going with jasmine doak on the ripta bus to visit my cousin in westerly. i'm really excited and hope all works out.
=)

i like this song.

have a nice night.
=)

"go be the person i know you can be..."

hmmm...

i'm not going to lie, today was a really rough day. my heart was weary. i hadn't felt like that in such a long time...

it started with this morning at 3 in the morning. i came home...

i slept and when i woke up i had realized my alarm had not rang and it was past 11.

i immediately went down stairs to question why she didn't wake me...

she told me she wasn't happy with the decisions i had made the night before and told me i could go to church and i was grounded.

i broke down. grounded is one things, not being able to go where i feel the happiest is another. i understand what i did was wrong, but i think my mom had no right to do that. i rather be grounded for months rather and be able to go to church, then be grounded for a day and not be able to.i love my church family so much, and i spent all day with them Saturday, a beautiful day, and was looking for reconnecting with them Sunday.

i was down in the dumps all day because of that... it just made everything terrible.

last night...

was worth it.

i went to my friend's house. i rarely hangout with her and her friends, but when i do it's always a blast!

i might end in the same condition after all....

last night, randomly Shannon, Rena and i decided to take the ripta bus to Providence...

it was fun to spend time together.

=)

i love last minute dissisons.

& today i woke up at 6:20 and headed to the church with everyone to clean it up a bit.

it was super fun day.

i'm super exhausted and in a weird mood...

but thankful for the last couple of days.

=)

thank you...

YESTERDAY!
we walked down those streets as our normal selves.
we swung on those swings as our secrets poured.
we connected as one.
i hope you know that i will never forget that moment...
i hope you feel the same way about it as i do...
thanks for giving me something i've always wanted....
a friendship i can count on.
i love you.


SO TODAY!
i had this sub. in global. Mrs. U!
being with her for one class period i learned so much....
i normally connect with people easily... but with her, it was different.
i can honestly say i love her.
she was amazing.
she was so sure of herself. so powerful just by the tone of her voice. she knew that life was something beautiful and it's worth being happy about. she had such a defining personality.... i don't even think words can explain her... but i love her.
when she looked in my eyes and smiled... it just warmed me up and looking back in hers i knew there was a beautiful story behind them.
i hope she knows that within a 50 min class period she changed a little part of me.
thanks for that.... i am truly thankful.

CARA WEBB!

As we sat out side of the chapel doors, hand in hand, tears flowing down,having the warmest hearts and souls just inside them, we sit there with each other. As i need you, you lift me up, and let me know that at the moment in time, i'm right where i need to be.I think with that feeling it was first the time i looked up to you and realized you were given to me as a gift and how much i truly loved you....
Cara Webb is her name. She was one of my coucelors for a christian camp i went to over the summer. From the first time i heard her laugh i knew we were going to become friends. She had the type of laugh that only few have. The one with meaning behind it. The one that even if you're in a conversation with someone, and she's right behind you laughing, you turn around and can't help but smile or laugh along too. She's beautiful. Not just with her outer beauty. Her feeling, her touch, her presense and most of all her words. Every time we talk i feel as if she is shedding some of her beauty onto me. It's a great feeling.
With her laugh, and beauty fleeting before me i write about her all the time. I feel as she's a character in the book i call life. Someone who's watching over me, helping me along the struggle of this beautiful world. She's like one of those characters that's put into the story to show foreshadowing of hope and light that will be at the few last pages of the book. The one who if you really thought twice about is the most important character.... That's her.
Leaving camp was the just the end of one of our chapters together. And i think we both knew it would carry on. To be honest the next couple pages were amazing. We talked more and learned about each other more. Learning about her brings a smile to my heart. Knowing even her flaws lets me get closer to her. I love her for everything she is and everything she isn't.
To ask me why i want to learn more about her and continue my relationship with her is because i love her. I want her to tell me her story and i want to be apart of all her future chapters. When i am where she is in writing her story I want to have touched someone as much as she's touched me.
I admire Cara with all my heart, the lady that i love and am glad to be apart. she's quite dandy, yes i know. to have her in my life i smile, as i laugh with no fear of the future because i know she'll be with me tomorrow.
And as we hugged goodbye,ending a long well written chapter with the last page in our hands, everyone tearing up not wanting it to end, your smile gave me strength to know that it will be alright because i am right here and you are right beside me, not only in this one chapter but a main character to my heart.....
cara webb is someone i love so so deeply, look up to, and admire so very much.

thought provoking....

" in your anger do not sin. do not let the sun go down while you are still angry..." ephesians 4:26

reading that simple thing today i have realized that all the times i have been upset with someone there was something always telling me to forgive them... don't go to bed angry... you shouldnt let that get the best of you...
the other day... i went to bed angry... angry at myself...thinking about that i was giving
" the devil a foothold" is kinda terrible.
i'm glad the Lord has given me strength to forgive people... lately i need to work on forgiving myself...
having too high of expectations sometimes lets you down...


anyways...
today i had a great day. it's wednesday so obviously it was great... but i love bible study.... today i was brought into the conversation several times as we talked about the Holy Spirit.
i think the Holy Spirit is always with me and lets me forgive before i go to bed... and i am thankful for that. =)
today we even brought up about me being baptised. i want to, but i feel like i need to know and grow in the Lord more before i do...
we'll see, we'll see.

* i love days like these....
the days where a great thought is put into your head and you cant stop thinking about it...
=)

laugher...

GUESS WHAT!?
i love being loved... it's the best feeling...
=)

somedays...

some days are better than others...
and some people are better than others..
and those that try to pull you down with them...
to make you just as bad as they are...
well i just don't like those people....
i don't want to loose a friend....
I'm sorry things aren't going well....
?