Things have been a little "outta step" lately. I am not sure what to make out of it. I know that I have this funny feeling in my tummy that may be caused by my tid bit of subconscious awarness of fearing the unknown.I feel it daily and sometimes it feels like it won't go away, as if clinging to my body like my 7'oclock summer shadow. Then, unexpected just as the occurance of the feeling in my tummy, a stranger, a friend, or a song brightens the mood to the highest delight I've felt in awhile. Despite this constant deep shadow lurking I've had more hope for the bright things then I've had in sometime now. I'm trying to hold on to the good, more than I ever had before.I do love what is. And I can feel the rattle in my bones striking at the exsitance of losing my self in sadness. To blame is probably the reason that I'm losing my father to lung cancer. I don't want to let it defeat me. The beautiful out there is worth fighting for. However, the thought of him not being there consums me with ugly....
I don't know, but today is beautiful no matter the stuggles.....
