Calling all cowards to take a step forward out of the darkness because I cannot do it alone.(February 2013)

I have been hesitant about moving forward for quite some time now. 

 I would consciously realize it,
 take one of those deep breaths that consumed my all
and made my heartbeat race to my head. 

Then, as quickly as that arose,
 my subconscious knew to cover it's own ass before a meltdown would occur.

Emotions would flood,
and because of my absolute awarness of being a stubborn nineteen year old female,
 I denied it.

 However,
time kept going.

It's never ever been this fast pace before.

I also have no ambition to catch up.

 So, yes I'm still hesitant about going anywhere else than where I am.

The thing is I despise where I'm at. I know I can do better.

I know I can.

 

 

 

Sometimes you have to throw your hands in the air, call bullshit and love yourself as deeply as you can.

As of the moment I am two months shy of being two decades old.I withhold five jobs. I have somewhat "lost it". However, I am more in tune with myself, and out of whack with the world than I have ever been. Contradicting as always, I presume. And laughter seems to be a constant, as do some sweet, powerful souls in my time is of the essence routine. I have lost some love, which causes me to fuck up more days than not;although, we all fuck up. I breathe, and I live, day to day. I am truly trying to utterly understand how the world works.

While in the midst of trying to figure it all out some photos were captured. Filled with love, desire and wonder they remind me of why I carry on.... with such as strong sense of adventure, of course....

1.Shannon,blue eyes
2.Within the castle. North Kingstown, RI
3. Self
4.Classic adventure pose
5.Bringwall beauty
6.Casual Shannon
7.Messy Room
8.End of an adventure day with my beauties
9.Laur is hot
10.Best friend
11.She's a gypsy amonst the sunflowers
12.Beautiful Buttonwood Farm, CT
13.Red lips, brick wall
14.Dead
15.What was. Somewhere in CT
16.Self
17.Self
18. Destruction
19.Boots
20. Hick
21.Bella and I
22.I was rockin' that day at the Washington County Fair
23.Laughter
24."She'll always remember your rings"
25. Fair with my favorite ladies
26.Bella in the camper
27.Second home
28.Laur and Big Guy