Life's crazy. Breathe easy lovers.

 

1. Sparklers define July
2.Jamestown with Janessa
3.Arabella Rose
4.Self Portrait
5.Arabella with the flowers
6.My two favorite people
7.Smoothie date
8.Shell collecting with my favorite little nugget from Idaho
9.Nick in the ocean
10.Within a cornfield
11.Snapshot within the cornfield of Laura and I
12.Self
13. All of my sunshines
14.Buttonwoods Farm, CT
15.Laughter with Arabella
16.Love
17.They make me giggle.
18.Beach day
19.Coolin' off with Blake
20.3rd of July
21.I wanna be a mermaid
22. Butts boating
23. Abandoned Wolf
24. Joseph

today

Chitter chatter is the melody to an eight hour shift that reaks of perservatives and disorganization. The prior hours were graced with a field of sunshine with stems.

Their beauty stiffled with bright summer sweetness.

Change of scenery within abandoned explorations as fear took excitement's hand and followed closely behing the unknown.

The silence was pertruded with only a flash and the paint was chipped and dust consumed the cracks.

The possibile thoughts of what was once before exploded the mind pretty perfusley.

Catching the breeze against the highway towards reality made my hair blow less radiantly.

The way a day is caputured depends on the light that surrounds it.

The beauty of what was seen that bright day made the melody of mundane casualties prepetually possible.

brief update

These photos are a brief update of what has been going on in my world. Yes, life has practically swallowed me whole and it's been too easy for me to become lost within the struggle, but photos,of course are still a constant. I've been working to keep my mind busy and have been drugged with a need for immediate satisfaction and it's completely suffocating me. I feel as if I have no time to think in advance, and my body's aching to make an accurate decision for my soul rather than the decision to fit the world's clock. I just need to breathe and take in some love...

Photos:
1.Up close and personal during hurricane Sandy at the Narragansett sea wall.
2. Waves taunting the street lights, hurricane Sandy.
3. Abandoned couch
4. Self Portrait on a feelin' beautiful kinda day
5. Brighten up on her birthday, Christina Casper
6. Arabella Rose Carpenter entered my world and has consumed my heart.
7.Beauty, Kiernan Lewis
8. Snow
9.Of course we didn't listen
10.Photographers goofs
11.Black and white self
12.Peeling wall paper of a room filled with a sorrowful past,CT
13.Abandoned chair,CT
14.Prime Real estate, CT

This too shall grow brighter....

      Things have been a little "outta step" lately. I am not sure what to make out of it. I know that I have this funny feeling in my tummy that may be caused by my tid bit of subconscious awarness of fearing the unknown.I feel it daily and sometimes it feels like it won't go away, as if clinging to my body like my 7'oclock summer shadow. Then, unexpected just as the occurance of the feeling in my tummy, a stranger, a friend, or a song brightens the mood to the highest delight I've felt in awhile. Despite this constant deep shadow lurking I've had more hope for the bright things then I've had in sometime now. I'm trying to hold on to the good, more than I ever had before.I do love what is. And I can feel the rattle in my bones striking at the exsitance of losing my self in sadness. To blame is probably the reason that I'm losing my father to lung cancer. I don't want to let it defeat me. The beautiful out there is worth fighting for. However, the thought of him not being there consums me with ugly....
     I don't know, but today is beautiful no matter the stuggles.....

what to do...

People keep asking me what I want to do? To the tell you the truth I don't really know the answer to that. I understand that I need a plan for my future so that it can be expected among society and those around me that I have a sense of direction of where I'm going that won't lead me into failure. Although, what does a plan really give anyone except a comfortable feeling about the unknown of how the plan will eventually change, and make more room to plan for the next unexpected thing. I want to experience the unexpected occurrence of life and DO things that give me that warm fuzzy feeling within that evolved from the actuality of what is in front for my eyes to see. I want to try and capture the evil amongst the living and the beautiful amongst the ugly that strays through the days of constant familiarity. I want to feel the dirt on my feet , the sun on my back and that strangers hand on mine hanging on for any inch of hope we have left. I'm ready to experience those things, and to see  with love as my guide.I do not need a plan, but to trust that I am going the right way, and will end up where I need to be with just being me.

It's been a year already?

I haven't written on my blog since last year... my how things have changed. I feel like this year was the most hectic, life altering, exciting, heart throbbing, and aching year I've ever had. It was a year I'd like to call " Hello, Billie Jo... WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!"

It sure kicked me in the ass a couple times, but it also gave me light into things I was so unaware of seeing before. However, clarity eventually arose in several occasions where it nearly took my breath away. I was able to change my mind and change it again. I fell in love with opportunities, and traveled to places I needed to remember and came across others that I needed to meet. The beauty of what is in the world around me struck me like bee on the butt.

I then sank into the earth on my dark days because sometimes I felt like that was all I had, but what a beautiful thing that is to learn to appreciate.

Nevertheless, my photos reached a peak of intensity this year that I now thrive on and want to only continue with the captures. With the action of snapping away I was able to reach people on levels I never knew existed, and learn a little bit about myself that was too deep inside before.I am ready to start fresh, dedicate myself to photos and find souls that help me explore more into the unknown. The past is gone, but but my future is bright. I want to write more to keep reminding myself, I CAN DO WHATEVER I PUT MY MIND TO. Photos help me capture what is, but writing helps me think about what will be.

Happy New Year.

here we go again.